


No One Here is Dying!

by Jayfire



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gaius is so done, Gaius's POV, Humour, Light Angst, M/M, based on art, slightly crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23594488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayfire/pseuds/Jayfire
Summary: Based on this Tumblr post (and Maryluis's accompanying art):Arthur: I would die for youMerlin: I would die for you firstGaius: (from across the room) NO ONE HERE IS DYING!
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 415





	No One Here is Dying!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maryluis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maryluis/gifts).
  * Inspired by [This post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/581443) by Maryluis and slytherin-sisters394. 



> Three days ago, Maryluis gave us the art I linked above, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. So, here. It's your problem now.

The first time it happened, Gaius thought nothing of it. Merlin was an idiot, and stupidly loyal. It was no surprise, really, that he would try something like this.

He sighed, looking at where Merlin stood in the centre of the great hall, holding Arthur’s poisoned goblet and swearing he would die for his prince. Of course, Gaius was worried, but he knew he had the antidote in his chambers. The foolish boy would be fine. He started towards his chambers before his ward even hit the ground.

He’d best get the patient’s cot ready. It was going to be a long night.

*** 

Gaius had severely underestimated just how long the night would be.

He knew about Arthur’s strange fondness for his ward. Let’s be honest, _everyone_ knew how fond he was of Merlin. The prince was not exactly subtle.

What Gaius hadn’t realised was _how_ fond Arthur was.

He had come barreling into the physician’s chambers, ripping the door off its hinges in the process, carefully cradling Merlin to his chest, while roaring out Gaius’s name like a lion.

After instructing him to lay Merlin down on the bed, and taking the goblet off Gwen to determine the poison, Gaius had thanked Arthur and told him to go back to the feast. The prince had refused, insisting on helping him treat Merlin, and sitting on the only stool beside the patient’s cot. He tried getting him to go get fresh water from the well in the courtyard, but Arthur just yelled at a passing servant and had them get it. He tried asking him to fetch a cloth from Merlin’s room, but Arthur just looked at the guard in the corridor. To Gaius’s astonishment, the guard nodded, walked across his chambers, up the stairs to Merlin’s room, riffled around a bit, and came back down, three washcloths in his arms. He lay them on the edge of Merlin’s bed, right next to the prince, nodded again and left the room, picking up and closing the door behind him.

Gaius closed his eyes, took a deep breath in, and let it sigh out. He opened his eyes, and considered the prince. It seemed he was determined to stay. Well, might as well but him to use then.

“Arthur,” he started, “if you want to stay, you’ll have to help.”

That should get him out of the way.

“Of course, Gaius. Anything you need.”

Well, that had backfired. All right, if Arthur truly wanted to help…

“Take one of those cloths, soak it in the cold water George just brought it. Then, wring it out and lay it out Merlin’s forehead. I’ll need you to get his fever down while I work to determine which poison was used.”

To his shock, Arthur nodded, and got right to it. Cocking an eyebrow, Gaius pursed his lips and got to work.

As he was running tests to determine the poison, he could hear Arthur murmuring to Merlin behind him. When he glanced over his shoulder, he couldn’t help but notice the worried frown marring the prince’s face. Clearly, as much as Arthur pretended Merlin was nothing more than a servant, he cared for the boy. Gaius smiled, and returned to his work bench. One more test and he’d know if his suspicions were correct. If the liquid turned red –

“Belladonna!” Gaius exclaimed, startling Arthur. He was already up the rickety stepladder rifling through glass bottles by the time the prince had recovered.

“Gaius! What? How is a beautiful woman supposed to help us cure Merlin?”

“Sire, belladonna is the name of the poison Merlin drank. You may know it better as deadly nightshade,” he answered, still searching through his vials. “I have several bottles of the antidote, if only I could find it… Ah! Here it is.”

He grasped the small container, uncorking it as he quickly shuffled to his ward’s side.

“Prop his head up for me, will you? That’s perfect. Now plug his nose so he’ll open his mouth…” Gaius directed in a soft mumble, keeping his voice level to calm his make-shift assistant. As soon as Merlin’s mouth opened to gasp in a breath, he tilted the vial down his throat and forced his jaw to shut. He nodded at Arthur to release the boy’s nose while he ran his hand up and down his throat to get him to swallow. Once he felt the tell-tale contraction, he stepped back, instructing Arthur to lay Merlin’s head back on the cot and to keep running the cloth over his face.

Arthur nodded to show he understood, and Gaius went back to his workbench to brew a strengthening potion to give Merlin once he had woken up. While he was working, he heard Arthur speaking to his ward again. Turning his head to watch the prince, and hear him more clearly, he stilled his hands to listen better.

“Merlin, I,” the prince started, swallowing. His voice was tense, shaky. Worry still evident in every syllable he spoke despite the assurance that Merlin would be okay. He bent his head closer to the servant on the bed, and Gaius strained to hear the rest.

“I would die for you, but I can’t if you die for me first.” Gaius closed his eyes. Figures the prince would be just as happy to die for Merlin as the servant was to die for his prince. The physician sighed.

“No one here is dying, sire. Merlin will be fine, and I advise you against any attempts to get yourself killed in the future.”

Arthur looked up at him, shocked that Gaius had overheard, but a chuckle made both of them turn their attention towards the figure on the bed.

“Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed, and the boy smiled wider.

“Were you worried about me?” he said cheekily.

“Of course not! I was just…. worried about how Gaius was faring! Yes! That’s what I was doing.”

“Whatever you say, sire,” Gaius interjected. “Now, will you please leave my chambers so I can care for my patient?”

“Of course,” Arthur said, standing from his stool. Before leaving, he shot one more concerned glance at Merlin, as if worried he would keel over the second he was out of the prince’s sight. Merlin rolled his eyes and nodded. Arthur dipped his chin, bit his lip, and left.

“Finally,” Gaius mumbled.

“He was worried about me, wasn’t he?” Merlin asked.

“Yes,” he replied shortly, shoving the strengthening potion into Merlin’s hands and looking his ward over, happy the prince had finally left and he could heal and scold the boy in peace.

He put the whole “I would die for you” incident out of his head, sure that would be the last he ever heard of it.

*** 

It was not the last he heard of it.

Gaius had overheard such declarations at least once a month ever since the first time. Usually, he ignored them, but it had been six years since Merlin’s poisoning. Arthur was king now, Merlin some weird court sorcerer-servant combination (because he was too stubborn and protective to let anyone else care so intimately for Arthur’s wellbeing), and Gaius. Well, Gaius was too old to be dealing with this any longer.

There they were, enjoying the Samhain feast, when an assassin crashed through the window. Before the guards had even twitched, faster than Arthur could draw his sword, the stranger had whipped their hand back and let loose a slim dagger. Gaius watched in horror as jump tackled the king, putting himself in the blade’s path.

 _Thunk_.

The assassin crumbled, surrounded by knights and guards. Arthur’s enraged face appeared up over the edge of the high table. Where was Merlin? Had he been hit? But the dagger was embedded in the throne. If he’d been hit, the thin blade had to have gone through him. Gaius shuddered. He needed to get over there, he had to stop the bleed–

He sighed in relief as Merlin’s head popped up beside the king’s. He wasn’t seriously injured then. Gaius would still need to check him over though, so he stood from his seat and started making his way towards the high table.

As he was struggling through the crowd, he heard Arthur furiously ordering the guards to place the assassin in the dungeons and yelling for someone to clean up the glass. The king and Merlin had just come back into his sight when Arthur rounded on his servant/court servant, his face somehow turning an even darker shade of red as he grabbed Merlin’s right arm. The movement caused the hole in his sleeve to open, revealing a thin, shallow cut. Arthur glared at the wound as if it had personally offended him, before stepping even closer to Merlin.

“HOW DARE YOU RISK YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT,” he roared. “I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!”

Merlin’s face morphed into an equally upset expression, eyes narrowing as he scowled back at his king and yelled back, “I WOULD DIE FOR YOU FIRST!”

“NO ONE HERE IS DYING!” Gaius interrupted. How many times did he have to tell them that? Six years he’d been telling them that, but apparently that wasn’t enough. Massaging his temples, he turned away from the high table. He was going home, where he would enjoy a nice cup of mulled wine by the fire. Just once, he would like to make it through a feast without any assassins or declarations of mutual self-sacrifice. Was that too much to ask?

*** 

Six months to the day late, Gaius heard those blasted declarations again. Thankfully, that was the last time he heard them. 

A week earlier, Arthur had come to his chambers in the middle of the night. Worried that something may have happened to Merlin (who hadn’t been sleeping in his room for the past six months) or to the king himself, Gaius quickly ushered him into his rooms.

“What is it, sire? Are you okay? Is it Merlin?” he questioned as soon as he’d forced the younger man to sit on the patient’s cot.

“Funny you should mention Merlin…” Arthur responded, gaze fixed firmly on his lap. Gaius arched his eyebrow.

“Yes?” he prompted. Arthur sighed, clenching his hands into fists. He looked up at Gaius, biting his lip.

“Whatwouldbethebestwaytoaskhimtomarryme?” the king let out in a rush. Gaius sat back on his stool, his eyebrow somehow rising even higher on his face, clearly unimpressed with Arthur’s mumbling and waiting for him to speak clearly. Arthur sighed again, his gaze returning to his lap. “What would be the best way to ask Merlin to marry me?” he repeated.

Gaius laughed.

Arthur looked up in outrage.

“Sorry sire, it’s just funny you’re so nervous. Do you think I would disprove?” as soon as he posed the question, Gaius could see that wasn’t the case. “Ah, you’re worried about what Merlin will say.” Arthur pinked, and Gaius chuckled lowly. Arthur’s mouth opened, but Gaius raised a hand to stop him.

“Arthur, Merlin will say yes. You’ve been declaring your love to each other for nearly seven years. That boy cares for you more than anything else in the world. He will undoubtedly say yes. Now, as to how you should ask for his hand, I have a few ideas…”

A week later, Gaius was sitting by the window in an alcove conveniently hidden by a bush in the castle gardens. He could see his ward and the king through the branches. As he watched, Arthur took out a clumsily carved wooden spoon, and pressed it into Merlin’s hands. Merlin gasped, clutching the spoon to his heart. Gaius saw Arthur open his mouth, and leaned forward in anticipation. This was it. Finally, Arthur would ask Merlin to marry him, Merlin would say yes, and those fools would admit they loved each other. Gaius smiled. Any second now–

“I would die for you,” Arthur said softly, gazing at Merlin with what could only be described as heart eyes.

“I would die for you first,” Merlin responded just as softly, tone just as loving, a sappy smile on his face. Gaius’s smile disappeared, and he closed his eyes in disappointment.

“No one here is dying!” he said, exasperated, as he stood and revealed himself. “Please stop. Honestly. Can’t you two idiots say ‘I love you’ like normal people?”

He watched as both young men blushed, and bashfully made eye contact with each other. Huffing, Gaius rolled his eyes and walked away.

“Is that what you meant? I love you?” he heard Merlin ask faintly as he headed back towards his chambers.

He never heard Arthur’s reply, but he figured the king had responded in the affirmative because he never heard those blasted “I would die for you” declarations again.

(Don’t tell Gaius, but they still happen. Usually late at night. Arthur will kiss Merlin’s shoulder, and pull him firmly against his chest.

“I would die for you,” he’ll whisper.

“I would die for you first,” Merlin will respond, turning his head to press a smiling kiss onto Arthur’s cheek before snuggling into his king and falling asleep.)

**Author's Note:**

> The spoon Arthur gives Merlin is a love spoon. It's an old Welsh courting custom, though here I'm using it in place of an engagement ring. To read more on love spoons and other Welsh courting customs, you can look at the BBC article [Here!](https://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/wales/entries/a0ed7c27-49f3-3137-b615-aacfdd874637)


End file.
